Sweetie Pies

Out and about in Hollywood... Charrrrrrles from Sweetie Pies was the actual cook and the food was delicious.  Painfully good.  C'mon in to Sweetie Pies. 

Been Dumped

Each break up that you go through teaches you something new about yourself. You need to take the pain and emotion that you are feeling and channel it in to learning life lessons that can prepare you for the next time around. Hopefully this experience will mean that you don’t have to ever feel the same way again. 

Although it might seem like the end of the world, it really isn’t. See a break up as a chance to learn and grow. 

Are you good at handling break ups or do you fall apart?

Green with envy, or na?

 I CELEBRATE OTHERS' SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS. I WISH THE BEST FOR EVERYONE

As selfless as this affirmation seems, it is in fact completely selfish. Any time you are jealous of someone’s success or think how unfair it is that they have this or that, you are only calling forth more of the same emotions onto yourself. It is imperative that you celebrate and are happy for other people, as what you wish for others is what you inevitably call upon yourself. This is a big one people! 

Positive affirmations are what you make them; this is only a short list of the many positive affirmations to change your life. You can choose to use your thoughts to create the life you want and change harmful thinking patterns, or you can unconsciously allow your thoughts to run your life negatively. Does anyone else have any standout affirmations they would like to share or examples where positive affirmations have worked in their life?

No letting go, no holding back!!!

He won’t let me go” I have heard this so many times from women who come to me for advice. In the midst of battling the reasons whether they should stay in their relationship or if it is time to walk away, they find comfort in believing that the man must love them because he refuses to bow out peacefully. Granted there are many situations that the man is truly in love with the woman, but do not always be fooled.

A lot of times what is really happening is that you’re just too damn convenient. You are too beneficial to this man for him to dare let you walk away. We all see women everyday who basically are the mothers to the men they are with. They do it all and sexual benefits are included. They take care of everything, carry the financial burden, and allow the man to get away with way too much. He can cheat on her and disrespect her. He can break her mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Yet because he insists that he wants to be with you when you’re ready to leave you actually start to buy into the “he won’t let me go, so he must love me” perception. If he really loved you he would not do half the things I just listed. He would not wait until you’re ready to leave to finally step up his game (he will step it up long enough to reel you back in but then it is back to the same old negative behavior). If he actually loved you then his heart would weigh heavy on him when he knowingly and continuously brings you stress, unhappiness, and hurt. A man who loves his woman cannot continuously watch his woman in pain and be OK with it. Some situations are not this extreme but the principle remains the same. He keeps you around and fights for you because you’re his meal ticket. So why would he let that go.

Love has nothing to do with it and a woman needs to be honest with herself. She should not continue to feed herself a lie due to her fear of a failed relationship and being alone. At the end of the day, I nor does anyone else have all the facts to your situation. So our opinions are somewhat limited. As a woman you have to trust your intuition more because rarely does a woman not know the answer deep inside. For those that are spiritual I do know somebody that does have all the facts and that’s GOD. So when you’re in a situation where you really don’t know where you stand with your partner then lean on GOD’s guidance. Because believe me, that man can and will say whatever is necessary to keep his benefits going but GOD will only tell you to do what is beneficial for YOU. Don’t keep telling yourself and others that “he won’t let me go”, because the real issue to consider is why do you continue to allow him to stay. 

The very best bet is to go with your gut feelings before talking to your peers and family, sometimes the perspective of others can influence your decisions.  And always pray about it. 

Daily inspiration

ENVY IS NOT A GOOD EMOTION

If you feel you're missing out because you don't have what other people have, stop thinking like that. You're veering dangerously close to envying them, and that's not a good emotion. Appreciate what you do have, rather than envying what you don't. And if you really want something, work for it.

Because ☝🏽️

Get Movin'!!!

Who's Cooking

Fried Hallibut 

Crab Pasta

Corn 

Corn Bread 

 

Dinner Tonight 

Useful Weekends

WAYS TO HAVE A USEFUL WEEKEND WITH NO PLANS 

Ever get stuck in the house because you couldn't make plans, but still didn't want to sit around and do nothing?  Whether work reasons or family reasons (new born) for example, whatever the reason I've listed a few things that can help make that slow weekend at least useful! 

M1. HANDLE UNPLEASANT CHORES DURING THE WEEK

There’s nothing like 5 loads of laundry to take up your entire Saturday and make your weekend go by faster than it has to. Instead of saving things like cleaning, laundry and other miscellaneous household chores for the weekend, knock them out one by one throughout the week when you find time. Assign yourself one small task every day so they are limited when the weekend rolls around!

2. RISE EARLY

Sleeping in can be one of the best things about the weekends, but don’t waste all your precious free time snoozing! Try to wake up around the same time you do during the week, so you can maximize your days. The early bird gets the worm…even on the weekends!

As an added bonus, waking up at the same time every day will help to make that Monday morning rise less dramatic.

3. MAP OUT YOUR WORK SCHEDULE IN ADVANCE

9:00PM on Sunday night can be downright depressing. Take the pressure off your Sunday evenings by keeping a running monthly schedule that you can tweak along the way. This way, your descent back to reality after a weekend of floating on cloud 9 won’t come so abruptly on Sunday night. Mapping out your time well in advance is also a great way to keep your many projects organized, too!

4. MAKE PLANS

Winging it can work out just fine, but making plans for the weekend allows you to get excited about something specific. You’ll look forward to your plans all week long and whenever you’re having a rough moment, you can look to your plans as the light at the end of the tunnel.

5. STAY CLOSE TO HOME

Getting out of town for the weekend can be great, but travel time can be brutal. Once you factor in the time it takes to get to your destination and back home again, that often accounts for half a day or more! Instead, opt for a “stay-cation” in your town. Head to a remote part of your city you don’t frequent much and explore! You’ll feel like you went on an adventure, even though you’re just miles away from home.

Somedays even when I'm not feeling too well I still want to move around and be productive around the house.  Hopefully some of the mentioned tips can help.

Get Movin'!!!

Anxiety and Depression

Having anxiety and depression is one of the hardest things to ever deal with, especially when you don't know why you have it. I've learned some ways that help me the most. 

1. Call a Friend- It's very easy to feel completely alone when having an attack, but you never are as alone as it seems. I often times will call my best friend and she can get me from crying to laughing in a short amount of time. 

2. Write- Another thing that helps me is writing down my thoughts in a notebook. This gets your feelings out without causing any harm.

3. Get on Pacifica- If you didn't know, there is an app for mental health called Pacifica that tracks your feelings, lets you do activities to improve your mood, and communicate to others with the same problems. It has helped me out more than anything else.

4. Listen to Music- Sometimes the best thing to do is to listen to songs that describe your situation, or even some upbeat music to make you feel better.

5. Workout- A good run while listening to a playlist can always bring my mood up! Plus it's healthy!

6. Relax- Watch a comedy movie and drink a hot chocolate or your favorite warm beverage in sweats and a tee, or light some candles and take a bubble bath. Have some you time and be easy on yourself.

7. Draw or Paint- I'm not very artistic, but drawing a representation of your feelings help.

8. Pray- As a christian, I know it can be hard to pray at times, but I find that praying is always a relief and that God is listening and understands

9. Cry- Believe it or not, it is healthy to cry and let things out!

10. Think Positively- Think of your favorite things and what you love about yourself and your accomplishments.

11. Watch YouTube- Get on YouTube and watch some funny youtubers, or even your favorite beauty channels.

12. Read- Grab a book or your kindle and read your favorite books!

13. Take Deep Breaths- When you have an anxiety attack, your breathing is very fast and shaky. Slow down and regulate it.

14. Reassure Yourself- Look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself a pep talk. Complement yourself, it's needed.

15. Play with or Cuddle your Pet- Animals have an amazing ability to help with anxiety and depression. They somehow can make anyone feel loved and needed without saying a word, so if you have a pet, give them attention!

Anxiety and depression will normally come and go throughout life but knowing how to deal will help keep the temporary condition from becoming a way of life! 

Get Movin!!!

Work Relations

This story provided by a Reader:

My husband and I have been together for almost 14 years. He’s 32 and I’m 30 years old.

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve noticed that he was always on his phone. So, a few days ago, he went to the store with a friend of his, and he left his phone, and it was unlocked. I took the chance to look through his phone, and what I found were messages between him and a co-worker of his in his DM box on Instagram. He was telling her how sexy she was, talking about make-up, sex, and just a number of sexually explicit things that he’s only supposed to say to me. Also, she showed him a video of herself dancing naked. I was soooo hurt by this, and what made it worse is that he would always talk negatively about her to me, but secretly he was talking to her on an intimate level and flirting with her while they were at work. Also, he proclaimed to be friends with her boyfriend, who also works with them.

Now, let me remind you, she knows about me, yet they both continued on with this. I confronted him with pics of the messages that I took from my phone. He immediately said that it was only flirting and nothing more. I wanted to confront her as well, but I thought about her boyfriend. I thought about him feeling the same way I did so I changed my mind. Now, my husband is on his apology and sympathy tour because I told him I’m taking a break from our marriage to see if it’s what I really want. We have 2 small children together and I know that whatever decision I make is going to affect them.

My trust for him is gone, and I honestly don’t know what he can do to gain my trust back. He’s been trying, but I still think about all of the things that were said between them. 

When dealing with these deep seeded relationship issues, consider both sides (honestly) as the reason "why" is very important.  For the purposes of clarity, closure and growth certain questions and answers can really make this ugly occursnce a clear beautiful learning experience the two can grow closer from or give you the facts you need in order to move on.  Good luck, think, talk and get to work! 

Get movin!!!

Happy you =happy you

True happiness comes from within and sometimes it takes extra work in order to remain a happy person even in tough times and situations.  Below, I've listed somethings that can help and with consistency some of these practices will become second nature.

1. BE POSITIVE 

Ignore negative thoughts.  Think of something you're thankful for instead.

2. FIND THE SILVER LINING 

Use challenges as learning opportunities.  Grow from the woes and they will seem smaller 

3.  SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE 

4.  BE OPTIMISTIC 

Don't bring yesterday's drama into your new week and place of peace 

5.  FAKE YOUR CONFIDENCE 

Practice letting the small things slide and when faced with the gripes they won't seem to matter as much (small sh!t) 

6. CREATE A HAPPY MUSIC PLAYLIST 

7.  TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY 

8. GET A PET 

Got no kids or baaad kids?!? 

9.  GIVE YOURSELF THINGS TO LOOK FOWARD TO

If you have something to look forward to at the end of each week, it'll be easier to get through your days. So plan out something fun for the weekend!

10.  SET GOALS 

Small attainable goals, home improvements, spring cleaning and crafts for example 

11.   IF POSSIBLE, SPEND A FEW DOLLARS 

12.   PAY ATTENTION TO HAPPY PEOPLES BEHAVIOR 

Don't get angry when you see someone humming on the bus. Instead, look at how happy they are and let it rub off on you.

13.  LET GO OF GRUDGES 

14. DISTANCE FROM NEGATIVE ENERGIES 

15.  REWARD YOURSELF FOR YOUR HAPPINESS NOT THE TOUGH TIMES

Cheers to me kicking ass today, not cheers I almost killed everyone in the building! 

Happiness is something we have to practice and exercise.  Reevaluate and constantly change, honestly how can your feelings stay the same if things keep changing? Try it 

Self love

Daily self love

BE KIND TO YOURSELF!

Be kind to yourself and shush your inner critic. Your inner critic is not always a voice of reason and it can make you doubt yourself sometimes. Just remember that you are only human, that you are doing the best you can do and that your imperfections are not failures; they are opportunities to learn. 

Self-acceptance is something you can nurture. It’s a skill that you can practice and it’s not an innate trait that you either have or don’t.  Each day one small thing is all it takes.